Love's Desperate Measure
by Lovefremione
Summary: Love; a true force of nature that reaches new heights. Harry with the help of those who love him, learns what freedom really is, watch as he learns to stand on his own. Collaborative effort with DarkSireness929, Albus bashing,Rape,Slash,threesome,mpreg.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: This is a collaborative fic with DarkSireness929; the 'NC-17' version can be found on her Yahoo Group. Chapters will be alternately written with the exception being the 'NC-17' content added by the the other author. See my profile or hers for directions on accessing the file. As always, Happy Reading, and Please review. -Lovefremione and DarkSireness929.

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Love's Desperate Measures Chapter One:

It was graduation day, and after seven long adventure filled years of pain and study, Harry's Hogwarts career was coming to an end. The sorting hat had been brought out once more to call their names one by one, and Harry was standing in line with the fellow 'P' students waiting patiently for his name to be called. He looked over the crowd and recalled how he once thought that there would be no one there for him; how wrong he was. Right there in the front row were a pair of 'Marauders'; two men that were like brothers to each other, but more like fathers to him. A vindicated Sirius Black was waving at him enthusiastically while a calm Remus Lupin tried to get him to put his arm down as the people behind Sirius were getting a little annoyed with the former convict. Harry smiled and waved discreetly back, glancing down at the new cuff links that Sirius and Remus had presented him with prior to the ceremony.

_oOo_

_Harry was standing in front of the mirror in the seventh year boy's dorm room bathroom, nervously adjusting his collared shirt and formal Hogwarts tie. He was anxiously waiting for Ron to tell him when it was time to go down when a deep voice startled him from the doorway._

"_Hey cub," Sirius bounced into the bathroom, "you're going to shred your tie if you keep that up."_

"_Siri," Harry launched himself at his godfather. "You came!"_

"_Of course we did cub," Remus said amusedly from the door. "You didn't think we would miss our Harry's graduation, did you?"_

"_Remy," Harry smiled and somewhat more sedately hugged the gentle werewolf. "What are you two doing here?"_

_Sirius and Remus exchanged nervous glances before Sirius finally cleared his throat and tried to explain, "Harry, know that we aren't trying to replace James, he was and is your father. But you are our cub as well and like a son to us. It's tradition to present your son with cufflinks on his graduation day; so Moony and I wanted to get these for you." Sirius held out a small black velvet jeweler's box for Harry to take._

_Harry opened the box and gasped in surprise. Nestled inside satin lining was a pair of very unique cufflinks. The cufflinks were solid gold, but while one depicted a Gryffindor Lion, the other pictured a Slytherin Snake._

"_We wanted to show you, despite how it might have seemed in the past, that we are very proud of not only your Gryffindor traits, but your Slytherin ones as well." Remus explained softly._

"_They're beautiful guys, thanks." Harry hugged the men._

_oOo_

"Potter, Harry James,"

Harry walked sedately forward when his name was called, grinning like mad at Sirius's hoots and hollers and even Remus got into it, chanting his name. He accepted the piece of paper from Headmaster Albus Dumbledore that officially proclaimed him a graduate of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, and shook the elder man's hand.

"Come to my office later this evening Harry, we need to talk," Dumbledore told him in a low voice.

Harry frowned but nodded anyway before continuing down the line of former Professor's shaking each of their hands. When he reached his once hated Potion's Professor, Harry looked up into the man's eyes and smiled slightly.

"Mr. Potter," Severus Snape said shaking the boy's hand. "I had once thought that a dunderhead such as yourself would never make it this far, however I am very glad that I was wrong. You've grown into a truly remarkable young man and it has been my privilege to teach you; and to learn from you as well." Severus rubbed his forearm lightly where the dark mark used to reside.

Harry blushed a little, "Professor Snape, you talk as if this is goodbye forever; no worries, I fully intend to visit often."

Severus grimaced a little but smirked at the impertinent boy anyway, rolling his eyes. "Yes well, I might have reason to visit you," He said glancing over Harry's shoulder towards the shouting voice of one Lord Black.

Harry's eyes widened a little and he smirked back at the usually stoic Potion's Master. "I'll see you later Professor," he said winking. Harry walked down the stairs at the end of the platform and that's when all hell broke loose.

The final showdown between Harry James Potter and Lord Voldemort, aka Tom Marvolo Riddle Jr., came somewhat unexpectedly and with an anticlimactic ending.

The ensuing battle had been short-lived and victorious for the side of the 'light'. The Malfoy's had proved a great surprise for the battle weary Harry when he had happened across them. Mother and Son, Narcissa Malfoy née Black had been holding Lucius Malfoy at wand point while Draco bound him. Draco had caught Harry's eyes briefly before nodding at him at gesturing towards the shrieking shack. Harry had nodded back briefly meeting Narcissa's eyes before continuing on his path.

A surge of pure magic had rolled across the school grounds letting everyone know that the final confrontation had begun, the rolls of magic leaving the battle weary souls weak kneed. When death eaters begun to fall one after the other, the battlefield's occupants knew that it was over and that Lord Voldemort was well and truly gone.

Later in the infirmary Harry lay quietly in a bed refusing to talk about what happened other than to say that Voldemort was dead.

"Harry my boy," Dumbledore greeted the recovering teen. "We need to talk about where you will be staying."

Harry looked up from where he had been staring out the window. The stars seemed so innocent; he wondered how they could still twinkle after watching so much bloodshed. "What do you mean; I'm going to live with Sirius."

Dumbledore sighed, "Unfortunately you cannot."

"What do you mean I can't? I fought your bloody battle; I killed the bad guy. You said that after Voldemort was gone I wouldn't have to go back there anymore." Harry grit his teeth in anger. "You know what _he_ does to me Professor. Why? Why do I have to go back? I'm of age aren't I?"

"You are of age in the wizarding world yes Harry, but you are still a part of the muggle world, and as such you must remain in the care of your guardians until you are of age in their world as well. My hands are tied Harry." Dumbledore tried hard to convince the boy that he could do nothing.

"That's ridiculous Professor, why haven't you ever mentioned that before? Ah," Harry had a sudden insight, "you never thought that I would live through the final battle did you?"

"Harry, my boy," Albus scrambled for a reasonable explanation, "I was trying to protect you. I had no doubts that we would succeed in our endeavor. I merely thought that you would be happier if you didn't have 'this' hanging over your head."

Harry raised a single eyebrow, "The last time I checked _Professor,_ I was the one that was forced to murder, not you."

"Now Harry," Albus scolded, "the battle was not won by just one person."

"I never said it was."

Albus sighed; why must the boy be so difficult, if the Dursley's had just treated the boy as he had bid them, he wouldn't be here arguing with the teenager now. "Harry, the fact remains that you have to go back; you will leave tonight."

"Wait, Sirius and Remus are coming for me tonight." Harry protested.

"I will let them know what has happened. Now," Albus continued over Harry's protestations, "you know that there are of course dark supporters that were never marked, so we will have to continue being careful. These people would have no qualms over coming after you, especially now that their Lord is truly gone."

"So not only do I have to go back to that hell hole, but I'm being imprisoned again. Do I at least get to send and receive mail?" Harry asked bitterly. He knew what would happen as soon as he set foot back on Privet Drive.

Albus pretended to sigh regretfully, "I must insist that Hedwig remain here Harry. She is far too noticeable, and we cannot take the chance that she would be followed. After all, the blood wards no longer remain."

"Do _they_ know that I'm coming back?"

"I spoke with them personally my boy; I also explained that the 'spankings' must cease."

"Yeah, spankings," Harry rolled over to once again gaze out the window. He wished he could join the stars.

Harry had been back with the Dursley's for a month now. Needless to say Uncle Vernon hadn't been too thrilled when Harry had apparated into the back yard.

"_Get inside you freak before the neighbors see," Vernon had hissed at the boy. "Now we have to put up with your worthless hide again. Don't think that just because you've become a murderer that we are going to let you off easy, we're not afraid of you."_

"_Yes Uncle Vernon," Harry bowed his head._

That had been little over a month ago and Harry had spent a lot of time in his cupboard since. When he wasn't playing house elf during the day; he was locked in the cupboard, but at night…at night there was no escape. It was like he was a little child again instead of nearly an adult. Uncle Vernon would come to him, speaking softly, almost lovingly, but his hands were harsh and brutal.

Harry had been seven the first time is Uncle had come to him like that. Aunt Petunia and Dudley had been gone, a mini vacation and Harry had been left with his Uncle. After an exhausting day of chores, especially for a small malnourished seven year old boy, his Uncle had bid him go take a shower. Harry had been thrilled; a shower was a luxury for a _freak _like him and he didn't receive them often. When little Harry's bruised and scarred back had been turned towards the door, his Uncle had stepped into the steam coated room. Harry had felt a large hand trace down his back, fingering the latest vicious looking whip mark and he had jumped; frightened. His Uncle hadn't wasted any time though forcing little Harry onto his knees and pushing his fat disgusting cock in the boys mouth. It had escalated from there, getting worse as he got older.

The first time his Uncle had raped him had been the summer before second year, the summer he had been locked in Dudley's second bedroom windows barred. When he had tried to fight back; the beatings had just got worse. Eventually Harry had stopped fighting him and gave in. He had told Dumbledore once, but the man had said there was nothing he could do. So Harry had never mentioned it again. Not even to Sirius and Remus, the two men he now thought of as father figures.

Now here Harry was again, at Number Four, broken, bleeding and emotionally distraught from the latest beating and subsequent rape while lying on the floor just waiting; waiting for his birthday to arrive. He didn't know if anyone was coming for him, all he knew is that if he didn't leave on his birthday, he wouldn't be alive to leave later on. Uncle Vernon was standing over him, tucking his cock back into his trousers. The vicious man had left with one more kick to his already battered body; strolling out of the door casually, as if he hadn't just raped his wife's nephew and left him a bleeding broken mess on the floor of his cupboard.

Another month passed, and Harry's eighteenth birthday was tomorrow or tonight at midnight if you rather. Harry was unable to even walk now. Beatings, blood loss, and atrophied muscles keeping him bedridden. His pale, very emaciated form was littered with bruises and lacerations, his skin carved, and his backside a bloody mess from rape. Death was imminent he figured, but so was his birthday. Harry couldn't tell you which one he preferred; both granted a freedom that he longed for. In death he would be with his parents again; or would he? Harry was sure now that he, a murderer, would end up in hell; surely his parents did not reside in hell. Every time his Uncle Vernon had come to him, he told him that this was what he deserved. Every crack of the belt, every blow of a fist, every thrust of his invading cock was what Harry deserved for being a murderer.

He had been responsible for his parent's death, for Cedric's death, for all the deaths during the final battle. All those deaths were on his shoulders and he deserved everything he got and so much more. Harry believed him now; he believed his Uncle's every word, or why else would he be here forced to endure this; why else would he still be alive. His birthday would ensure his freedom from his relatives; and not even Dumbledore or the Minister of Magic could force him back. But where would he go, Sirius wouldn't want a murderer like him, the wizarding world wouldn't want the 'savior' that had killed.

Harry painfully turned his head to look at the repaired alarm clock that resided on a mended side table, 11:59, one minute to freedom one way or another. He watched blearily as numbers shifted now reading 12 o'clock, midnight. "Happy birthday to me," Harry whispered in the darkness. He painfully rolled onto his side and tried to sit up, slowly but surely he was eventually able to get his arms beneath him and lever himself into a sitting position. Clutching the side table for support, he tremblingly got to his feet, feeling every muscle and bone protest the movement. All he had to do was get the small pillowcase of things that he was taking. A few shrunken books, his invisibility cloak, the marauder's map, his photo album, and his wand. He tried to hoist the pillowcase full of his few belongings over his shoulder, but the pain was too much, so he dragged it. Even with a feather light charm he was unable to lift the small bit of fabric containing his meager possessions.

Harry really wished that they had taught basic healing at Hogwarts; then at least he would have been able to heal some of the damage. He couldn't do it anymore though; even the feather charm had been almost too much. His magic was doing everything it could to sustain his life at the moment and nothing else. Harry valiantly put one trembling foot in front of the other aiming for the door. He hoped that he had enough magic for a simple unlocking charm otherwise he would be stuck here.

One step, two; then two cracks of apparition were heard behind him. Harry instinctively whirled, but it was too much and he toppled to the floor with a pained cry.

"Oh Merlin Harry," Sirius yelled rushing forward Remus on his heels.

"What happened cub," Remus asked while trying to ease Harry into a more comfortable position.

"I, I didn't think you would come," Harry whispered.

"Of course we came cub," Sirius replied waving his wand around trying to cast a few general healing charms.

"Siri, it hurts," Harry moaned. When his backside had collided with the unrelenting floor many cuts had re-opened and blood began to pool around them. His arse had begun to bleed again as well, most of the blood coming from there.

"Sirius, we have to get him to St. Mungo's; we can't fix this," Remus whispered urgently while trying to keep the wolf in check.

"Moony," Sirius responded brokenly.

"Sirius Orion Black, pick up our godson now and apparate to St. Mungo's," Remus growled letting his wolf show a little more.

Sirius responded to the voice of authority cradling his frail godson in his arms.

"Go Padfoot, I'll get his stuff and meet you there."

Sirius nodded and told Harry to hold on not noticing his cub had slipped into a state of unconsciousness, and apparated to St. Mungo's.

"Hold on Harry," Remus whispered following his brother and their cub. "Dear Merlin hold on."

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This Chapter Written By: Loverfremione

(There is an alternative 'NC-17' version of this chapter available, see A/N above for instructions on how to access it.)


	2. Chapter 2

Love's Desperate Measures, Chapter Two:

The healers had taken one look at the screaming Sirius Black and the bloodied bundle he carried and took action instantly. One healer conjured a stretcher and was trying to get Sirius to but his precious cargo down while the others prepped a room; just as the healer was ready to smack Lord Black one to get the hysterical man to cooperate, another man apparated into the room.

"Sirius put Harry on the stretcher," Remus said quietly. He laid a gentle hand on the distraught man's shoulder. "The healers can't help him if you don't put him down."

"The tender voice of one of the few people that Sirius trusted finally got the man moving again, and with great care he gently laid down Harry's still form. "Moony," Sirius said tremblingly, "need Sev'rus."

"Alright Padfoot," Remus agreed calmly, "I'll go floo him."

As soon as Sirius had deposited his godson on the stretcher the healer had left, so Remus gently guided Sirius to a chair in the waiting room then used the conveniently situated fireplace to call Severus Snape. Remus had barely got out Sirius' name and St. Mungo's before the potion's master was telling him to move aside so he could come through.

Severus Snape took one look at his lover sitting in a waiting chair covered in blood while holding his head in his hands and rocking back and forth, and was instantly frightened. Not many things could turn a strong man like Sirius into a trembling mess.

"Siri," Severus walked over to the man and knelt down in front of him. Severus grabbed the man's hands in his own and chafed them a little trying to get them warm.

Sirius looked up at the smooth tone of the man who he had never in a million years thought he would get along with, let alone date, and threw himself into the man's arms. "Harry," he sobbed, "they killed my cub." Sirius was getting hysterical again.

Severus glanced alarmed at Remus over Sirius' head. "The healers have him," Remus answered the unspoken question. "He was pretty bad off." Remus was struggling to keep the wolf under control and his eyes were glowing an eerie yellow.

The potions master slowly stood up keeping the weeping man firmly in his arms and turned to sit in a chair bringing his lover into his lap. "Harry was only there for a few hours, right?"

"Albus lied to us; I knew there was no way that Harry would ever willingly go back to that place, not even for '_just a few hours_'. Merlin Sev that room smelled awful; stale sex and blood. No Harry was there much longer than a few hours." Remus shuddered. "I knew Sev; I knew that Harry hated those muggles. Why didn't we fight Albus, make him tell us where Harry was? Why did we accept that Harry just '_needed a little time away'_?"

Severus continued to rub up and down Sirius' back trying to calm the animagus down. "We all care about Harry Remus, and unfortunately we all trusted Albus; he was after all the leader of the light for so long." Severus bent forward and kissed his lover's temple, "Sirius I need you to calm down. I'm going to sit you here in this chair and I'm going to go talk to the medi-wizard over there, okay?"

Sirius hiccoughed but nodded bravely bring himself under control.

Severus gently lifted the man once again and placed him in a chair then strode over to the help desk. "I would like an update on Harry Potter please."

"Relation," the bored medi-wizard asked.

"His godfather is over there," Severus said indicating the still crying Lord Black.

"I cannot release any information to you then," the medi-wizard said snottily.

Severus Snape reached over the counter and grabbed the man's collar pulling him over the desk, "You will tell me what I want to know or I will hurt you, do you understand," he said low and menacingly. "Then I will let the werewolf at you."

The young medi-wizard paled drastically, "Yes sir, just a moment sir," he stuttered. "Just let me go grab his chart I'll be right back." The young man took off at a run as soon as Severus let go.

The former spy stood stiffly upright arms crossed and foot tapping waiting impatiently for the man to return.

oOo

"Physically we've healed the worst of the damage; Harry will however be here for a while. He is malnourished and his muscles severely atrophied. It will take some intensive physical therapy for him to regain the full use of those muscles even with potions… Then there is the, sexual abuse," Greenwood paused, he truly hated this part of his job, "again we've healed the physical portion, but the mental and emotional healing will be slow." Healer Greenwood watched the three men he was speaking to, they were all just barely hanging on by a thread. "Harry won't be awake for a few hours, I suggest you go home, take a shower and get a good meal and then come back."

Severus nodded, "Thank you Healer."

Healer Greenwood smiled at the three men, he hoped for their sake at the very least that Harry Potter would make a full recovery. The teen deserved so much more than the wizarding world had given him.

oOo

It was the next morning before Harry finally regained consciousness, the process of waking up slow and painful; the pinpricks of light sliding through his closed eyes burning his retina and compounding the ache in his skull. Harry could vaguely here a familiar voice speaking to him, but he couldn't make out any of the individual words. There was a large hand cradling one of his smaller ones; it didn't feel like his Uncle's… it felt safe, warm.

"Come on Harry, I need to see those emeralds kiddo," Sirius pleaded with the still teen. "There is so much I want to tell you; for instance Snivellus and I have been going at it like bun-"

"Mutt," Severus exclaimed exasperatedly, "I will kindly thank you to not indulge your godson in all the gory details."

"Ah but Sniv," Sirius whined.

Severus snorted but leaned over to plant a kiss on the shorter mans lips. "Fine whatever…"

Sirius grinned and continued talking to his godson. "Moony is seeing someone as well, but he won't tell us who." Sirius paused and squeezed the hand that was so much smaller than his own. "Oh Harry, we really need you to wake up."

"Indeed Mr. Potter, you haven't made good on your word to come and annoy me yet; I'm beginning to think you don't like me anymore," Severus said.

The voices were growing clearer and Harry could finally distinguish his godfather's voice and Professor Snape's. He struggled to open his eyes but they felt so heavy, so Harry instead concentrated on his hand.

"Harry," Sirius stopped his rambling.

"What is it mutt?" Severus asked at the abrupt change in Sirius monologue.

"His hand moved, I think he's finally waking up."

Harry twitched his hand again and felt the return squeeze; he then finally managed to slit open his eyes. "Siri," he slurred.

"Harry," Sirius cried the relief evident in his voice, Severus had slipped out to get Harry's healer. "Thank Merlin; the Healers said you should have woken up hours ago!"

"S'rry."

"Mr. Potter," Healer Greenwood walked into the room with Remus who had just shown up, and Severus trailing along behind him, "we were expecting you to come around a little earlier. Can you tell me how you're feeling?"

"Headache, thirsty."

"Any other pain?"

"Numb."

The healer made a few notes on his chart. "Alright Mr. Potter, I'm going to have some pain and nutrient potions added to your IV, then your godfather's can help you sip some water. If all goes well we might be able to get you into a more suitable room tomorrow."

"Thank you," Sirius told the man before he walked out of the door. "Thanks for saving our cub."

Healer Greenwood nodded, "It was my pleasure to help the man who saved us all."

A little while later a young medi-wizard came in and after adding the potions to Harry's IV helped him to sit up, the magical hospital bed instantly conforming to its patients new position. "There you are Mr. Potter, just hit the button if you need anything, it'll trip the spell and we'll come check up on you."

"Thank you," Harry said.

The medi-wizard nodded and quietly shut the door behind himself when he left.

Sirius sat in his chair just taking in the sight of his godson, he looked a whole lot better than he had, though it would have been quite hard to look worse. "You scared us cub," Sirius said getting up to sit on the side of the bed. "Why didn't you send Hedwig?"

Harry grit his teeth, "Dumbledore," he hissed.

"Mr. Potter-"

"Harry Sir, I'm not in school any longer."

"Severus," the potion's master returned the courtesy. "I understand about the lack of owl, but you are an of age wizard." It wasn't a question.

"I, I don't know." Harry admitted. "The first time Unc… _he_ hit me I was all set to walk out the door; but when I went to pack my things," Harry just shrugged helplessly. "And then it got worse."

"A compulsion charm maybe," Remus suggested.

"No, something else; Harry can throw off the Imperious." Severus disagreed. "Harry, this wasn't the first time though was it?"

Harry just shrugged again and looked away. He couldn't tell these men that he felt like he deserved every punch, every kick, every thrust… he deserved the pain and humiliation, the blood. Harry had killed, he had been the cause of so many deaths; of war.

"Harry," Sirius tried again to get his godson's attention. "You drifted," he said when the green eyes finally focused on him. "How long," he couldn't finish the question.

"A long time," the reply came with no inflection his voice.

"Oh cub," Sirius whispered before leaning forward to hug the teen tightly. "I'm so sorry, so sorry."

"It wasn't your fault," Harry said fiercely. "I dese…"

"No Harry," Remus said perching on his other side. "No one deserves that; not ever."

"You don't understand," Harry said miserably pulling back from the comforting arms.

"You would be surprised," Severus said compassion shinning from his onyx eyes.

Harry didn't say anything, and Sirius and Remus stayed silent as well, not wanting to upset their cub anymore.

Severus walked up behind Sirius' form and gently placed his hands on taunt shoulders. Sirius reached up a hand to cover long fingers with his own. The display made Harry smile a bit.

"I see Severus told you how he felt."

"Hey," Sirius said, "how did you know? When did you know?"

"Graduation," Harry said; he refused to spoil the moment with actual mention of the final battle.

Sirius' eyes gleamed, "You don't mind then?"

"Not at all, as long as you make each other happy I think it's great." Harry replied honestly.

"How about yourself," Remus said watching his cub intently. He saw the all emotion leach from the frail boys face and it pained him.

"How about you," Harry countered. He really didn't want to talk about himself. He was used, dirty; he was broken and not worthy. No one could love him.

"I may have my eye on someone," Remus said not willing to push Harry somewhere he so obviously didn't want to go.

Sirius turned to waggle his eyebrows at his best friend, "Yeah, but the furball won't tell us who."

Harry half smiled at his two godfathers. "Hermione and Ron," he asked.

"Ron begins auror training next month, and Hermione is going to law school," Remus answered.

"Neville?"

"Apprenticing with Professor Sprout of course," Severus answered this time.

"Good."

"How about you cub," Sirius asked, "What do you want to do?"

"I don't know," Harry answered absently a far off look in his eye. "I never really thought about it."

"I was under the impression that you wished to enter auror training with Mr. Weasley," Severus said as he claimed Sirius' now vacant chair.

Harry frowned, "I just said that because Umbridge told me the ministry would never hire me. I… I never gave it much thought because of Voldemort."

"Ah," Severus said in understanding. "Well you have plenty of time to think about it."

Harry yawned hugely then, getting chuckles from the three men. "Sorry."

"I think that we shall leave you for the night," Severus said standing up and pulling Sirius up with him.

Sirius bent to kiss his godson's cheek, "Love you cub; we'll be back tomorrow."

"Bring you something to do," Remus agreed also giving his cub a kiss. "Sleep well."

Harry waved as the three men departed. He didn't deserve them, but he wasn't willing to give them up either.

* * *

This Chapter Written By: Loverfremione


	3. Chapter 3

**YES this is a different message: Underneath the A/N I wrote a few days ago is Chapter 3 of LDM. Everyone who reviewed and PM'd me, thankyou. It helped a lot that you took the time to let me know your feelings and I agree that if this person had taken the time to analyze what they had read (not to mention bothering to finish at least the first chapter) like a person who supposedly studies literature would have, I doubt they would have written such a mean spirited 'review'. Trying to mask a flame as constructive critisim is wrong. I don't care how you intend to justify it to yourselves, but there are guidlines to maintain. In all honesty, I was not only upset about what this 'reviewer' said, I was also pissed off. Someone telling me that I ruin my own writing? That's not constructive in the least. I'm all for suggestions, but they better be worded nicely. I have never left a review that basically told the author that they ruin their writing and plot lines because they added something I did not like. Guess what, like one reviewer reminded me, I write for no one but myself. Now, you can skip past the A/N, there is a line seperation, and I hope that you enjoy chapter three. -Lovefremione**

To those of you have this on alert, I apologize. This is not an update. I realize that I am being entirely too cliché and hypocritical, but I cannot help it. In all the times I've seen an author post a note like the one I am writing, I have always written back to tell that person that, "this is your story and don't let one person make you believe that it is anything other than what you have envisioned. You shouldn't allow someone to affect you to the point where just decide to give up."

Again, hypocritical of me when I've done just that. A person is allowed to have an opinion, and has the right to have that opinion heard. NEVER doubt that. What I cannot begin to understand is why someone not only decides that their voice needs to be heard above all others, but chooses to voice it before retaining all the pertinent details.

Yes Harry is a 17 year-old wizard in the beginning of this story. He is a loving, caring, and very magically powerful individual. But he is also an abused boy. A boy that never had any friends until he was 11 years old, a boy who never had parental figures until he was 13, and a boy who has been idolized and used as a weapon from the first moment he learned he was a wizard. I'm in no way stereotyping, but I envision this type of person as someone, though being very magically powerful in his own right, to constantly be seeking approval from others. When the person who 'rescued' you from the type of home that Harry came from, tells you must go back (for the greater good of course), you go back. Not because you aren't of age (at least in the wizarding world), not because you can't do magic legally, not because you don't have some other place to go or the means to do so, but because this is the person that rescued you, this is the person that has been your savior, your idol, your mentor, and this is the person you seek approval from above all others, so you go.

The cycle of abuse is just that, a cycle. In all of Harry's Hogwarts years he has been nothing other than a weapon (well to most people that is). He was never just Harry. It's hard to come to terms with child hood abuse when no one has ever taken the time to talk with you about it, to try and heal the damage done to the child's heart and mind. Would you be able to end the cycle by just forgetting it ever happened? Would you be able to come to terms with it by sweeping it under the rug? On what level do you think your self esteem would be if you went from being an abused child to an abused weapon? Because that is what my Harry is. He is still a child that for all intents and purposes went from one abusive home to another; and the other didn't hurt near as much as the former therefore it must be ok.

How many of you have ever heard of a battered spouse or boy/girlfriend? Was that person fully capable of walking out of that house and relationship? Did they have people to turn to? Did some of them have the monetary means to leave? Most likely yes; so why didn't they? Most cases, and believe me I did the research, that have that person staying, do so not because they don't have the ability to leave, but because in their mind they cannot or should not. Perhaps if they had just done better than they wouldn't have been hit or screamed at, if they try harder it won't happen again and this other person will finally tell them, "Well done, I'm proud of you." Or perhaps they feel that they deserve this. It was their fault that, in the case of Harry here, all those people died.

Why then in the case of this story did Harry yearn for his 18th birthday to leave? Because Dumbledore, the person who had first rescued him, the person who he looked to as a grandfather, the person he looks to for approval above all others, told Harry that he only had to stay until then. Harry didn't use magic against his Uncle because he couldn't, but because not only did he think he deserved punishment in return for all the lives that were lost, but because Dumbledore would be disappointed in him if he did retaliate even if only defensively. Most behaviors and responses are dictated at a subconscious level, so an abused individual knows this is wrong, but feels that they deserve it, their subconscious has deemed it so as with other types of disorders.

I am not an abused person, but I did do the research before I consented to this plot line. Like I said before, there is absolutely no doubt that Harry is a very magically strong individual, but he is also a victim of abuse; abuse which has never been dealt with.

I had planned on this information coming out as Harry healed at St. Mungo's. Sirius and Remus both asked why he didn't just leave or at the very least tell someone. I have reams of notes and a lot of research that the mind healer was going to talk with them about that would explain what was going on in Harry's head.

So why this authors note you ask? It has everything to do with a review. This person stated over and over again that their review was in no way meant to be taken as a flame, but rather as constructive criticism. However from my point of view, it certainly sounded like a flame. It appears that this person (and it says quite clearly that did) stopped reading half way through the first chapter. I know I hadn't posted the chapter which has the information that I provided above, but it still hurts that someone would chose to throw fire over a story when they haven't, at the very least, read the entirety of what has been published or at least taken the time to analyze the direction the author might have been coming from or heading to.

So I ask you to see this from the perspective that I had envisioned. Harry is a thoughtful, intelligent, gentle, caring, and very loving individual who deserved so much more than he had received his first 18 years of life. The mind healer was, with help of a certain red head and perhaps someone else, going to show Harry that he NEVER deserved the type torture and punishment that was dealt him. Things like this take time, and Harry was going to learn he has control. He doesn't need the approval of others; he only needs the approval of himself.

So I'm sorry, but at this point in time, I have lost heart…

* * *

Love's Desperate Measures, Chapter Three:

Harry lay in his hospital bed thinking hard. He had been in his private room for a week now having been moved from the ICU. Healer Greenwood had told him that he was physically as fit as could be, or would be once he started physical therapy to work his muscles back into shape. Sirius, Remus, and Severus had been coming every single day and the four talked about nothing in particular. Harry hoped that after physical therapy he would be able to leave and get away. He just needed time to think.

Healer Greenwood had sent a mind-healer to Harry on his second day out of ICU. Harry could admit that he wasn't very forthcoming, and just sat and listened to the Healer Rheil talk about herself. Harry answered few questions hoping that Healer Rheil would get the point and leave him alone, but alas it hadn't worked out that way. The mind-healer had told him in no uncertain terms that they would continue to have little chats until Harry trusted her enough to talk to her.

"I understand from your godfather Lord Black that you at one time wanted to be an Auror, what happened that changed your mind?"

Harry shrugged, "I only really wanted that in the first place because my dad was an auror; and because Dolores Umbridge said that the ministry would never hire a liar like me."

"Did you believe Ms. Umbridge when she told you that?"

"No," Harry answered, "I knew that she would eat her words."

Healer Rheil chuckled, "Do you know what you would like to do now?"

"Hadn't really thought about it," Harry looked away to stare out the window of his hospital room.

Healer Rheil cocked her head to the side, "I would ask why that is, but I already know the answer."

Harry glanced at the woman from the corner of his eye, "I didn't think that I would live through the final battle."

The healer nodded. "I doubt that most looked beyond the final battle. How is your physical therapy going," she asked changing the subject.

"They've got me walking with the parallel bars."

"That's wonderful Harry, I'm sure your godfathers are very proud of you."

Harry nodded mutely.

Tabitha Rheil sighed, "Well I can see you're tired, so I think we'll just end here today. Is that ok with you Harry?"

"Yes thank you," Harry mumbled.

"Alright then," the healer got to her feet, "I'll just see you tomorrow."

Harry nodded once before the mind-healer slipped from his room. He hated talking to people.

~oOo~

"How is our cub doing," Sirius asked Harry's mind-healer.

"Like most patient's he refuses to talk about the trauma. I'm afraid it's going to take awhile to get him to a) talk about it, and b) believe that what happened wasn't his fault. This kind of trauma is very deep seated."

"Healer Rheil,"

"Please call me Tabitha," the healer interrupted.

"Tabitha," Remus started again, "what I don't understand is why he stayed. He's an of age wizard with a wand."

"That is actually the crux of Harry's problem, and if the abuse from his childhood years had ever been addressed, then I doubt very much he would be here in the hospital today," Tabitha explained. "Albus Dumbledore was Harry's first _real adult contact_ with the wizarding world, correct?"

"Yes I believe he was. I know that Harry met Hagrid first and interacted somewhat with Minerva, but Dumbledore was really the first adult wizard Harry interacted with beyond a student/ teacher relationship." Remus agreed.

"Dumbledore is the one who spoke to Harry the most about his parents including sending Harry something of his fathers, he is the one that gave Minerva McGonagall permission for Harry as a first year to join his house quidditch team, and he is the one that instilled in Harry from the very beginning that Harry was the only one who could defeat He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named. Combined with the 'grandfatherly' persona he portrayed, he had Harry firmly convinced that the greater good must be taken into account more than any one person's individual needs," Tabitha explained. "Albus Dumbledore most likely made sure at the beginning of each school term that Harry knew it was he, Albus, who rescued him from his relatives. Having this pounded into his skull year after year will leave impressions on most. Harry coming from an environment where he was told day after day that he was nothing, then going to a place where this person told him he was the only hope of the wizarding world compounded the existing problem. Dumbledore is seen as an idol, and Harry looked to him not only as a mentor, but as family."

Sirius looked down at his fingers frowning while the mind-healer spoke. "So our cub stayed because Dumbledore told him to?"

Tabitha nodded, "It's a little more complicated than that, but in essence yes, that is exactly why Harry despite being of age and carrying a wand stayed in that house when he had the ability to leave. I haven't really been able to get him to talk about it, but I'm sure that Harry on some level decided that he needed to be punished. If I had to guess, it's because he feels guilty."

"What does he have to feel guilty about," Remus asked bewildered.

"His parents death for one, his fellow champion from his fourth year, the blood ritual that allowed You-Know-Who to return in a corporeal form, as well as all those other people who died. He most likely holds himself responsible for the entire war."

"But none of that was his fault," Sirius exclaimed.

"He knows that, consciously; but subconsciously Harry holds himself responsible and therefore deserves to be punished," Tabitha smiled gently.

"I, I just don't understand I guess," Sirius mumbled looking away.

"This type of self loathing is very complex. The fact that it stems from his childhood will make it even harder for him to overcome. What Harry needs is your love and support. He will talk to you when he's ready, so I ask you not to push him," Tabitha explained gently. "I will do the pushing, I don't care if he ends up resenting me for it; he will come to understand eventually that he needed to talk, that it wasn't his fault, and that his friends and family can love him as more than just the Boy-Who-Lived."

Sirius and Remus stood, nodding at the healer. "I think we understand a little bit more than before," Remus said moving towards the door, "Thank you for helping our cub."

Tabitha smiled. These men loved Harry very much and that's just what the teen needed. "You're welcome."

Sirius smiled briefly before closing the door behind him. "He'll be fine Moony. Harry's tough, I know he will work through this and be happy."

Remus gripped his 'brothers' shoulder, "I know."

~oOo~

Remus, Sirius, and Severus were sitting the hospital cafeteria eating a quick lunch while Harry was in therapy when a swarm of red heads appeared.

"Professor Snape," Fred said shocked to see his former dour potions professor sitting with the two remaining marauders.

"Mr. Weasley," Severus inclined his head. "Molly, Arthur," he greeted the couple.

"Severus, Sirius, and Remus," Molly said blinking, "whatever are you doing here?"

The men exchanged a brief look before Remus answered, "Harry had a bit of an accident. He's been here for almost two weeks now and is in physical therapy."

"Oh my," Molly put her hand to her mouth looking worried, "Please tell me he's alright?"

"He'll be fine Molly," Sirius soothed, "Just banged up a bit, broom accident."

Fred and George had been standing off to the side while their parent's talked to their former professors and Sirius. They knew for a fact that Harry would never have had a broom accident. Their littlest brother was born on a broom which meant the three men were lying; now to find out about what. The twins checked to make sure that their parents were occupied and they slipped from the cafeteria.

"Harry had a broom accident," Fred murmured.

"Not likely," George finished.

The twins approached the main help desk, "Can you please tell us which room Harry Potter is in?"

The receptionist looked down her list, "I'm sorry, I don't have his name listed here."

"Oh," George said. "Sorry to bother you."

Fred and George stepped away, "Probably has a different last name listed to keep the reporters at bay," Fred said.

"Who has a different name listed," a voice asked from behind them.

The twins jumped and whirled, "Don't do that Charlie," George yelled.

Charlie just laughed, "Sorry," he didn't sound very contrite. "Now who has a different last name?"

"Harry," Fred explained.

"We saw his godfathers and Professor Snape," George continued.

"In the cafeteria, and they said," Fred added.

And George continued, "That Harry had had a flying accident."

"And has been here for two weeks," Fred finished.

"And the last name bit," Charlie asked.

"We asked at reception and the lady said that there was no Harry Potter listed," George explained.

"We think he's probably listed under a different last name; you know to keep the reporters and fan-girls at bay," Fred added.

"Ah," the dragon handler said. "What last name do you think he would be listed under?"

"Either Black or Lupin," Fred shrugged.

"Well then, let's ask again."

Sure enough, reception had a Harry Black listed as staying in room 312 of the Potter wing.

"The Potter wing," Fred laughed, "Well that's ironic."

George laughed as well. "How's Bill and Fleur," he asked their older brother.

"I think that Bill is going to be lucky if he comes out of this with his wand hand intact," Charlie chuckled. "The OB said Fleur is progressing nicely and we should have a new niece before the day is up."

The twins laughed along with Charlie. "Well here we are Potter Wing room 312."

The three red heads quietly opened the door and stepped in. They were staring in shock as Harry, who had his back to them, tried to walk while holding himself up on the parallel bars.

"Oh Merlin, Harry," Fred exclaimed.

"What the bloody hell happened little brother," George asked still in shock.

Harry had tried to whirl around at the voices, but his legs were still too weak to hold him up and he hit the floor with a thud. "What are you doing here," Harry asked from the floor.

The twins and Charlie rushed forward to help, "Stop it," Harry bit out, "I can get up on my own."

Fred and George stepped back immediately, but Charlie just stayed crouching down look Harry in the eye. "Are you supposed to be doing this without a healer present?"

"I don't need a healer to supervise me," Harry spat. "I can do this; and the healer just left a few minutes ago anyway."

Charlie nodded, "Will you at least let me help you back into a sitting position?"

Harry turned his head to the side; he didn't want them to see him crying. "Please," he whispered ashamed.

Charlie adjusted his position so he was kneeling next to the prone body and grasping Harry's forearms helped him to pull up into a sitting position. From there Harry was able to grasp the bars, and with a heave managed to lever himself up, Charlie standing behind him in case he didn't have enough arm strength.

"Now will you three tell me why you're here," Harry asked as he 'walked' himself back towards his bed with the aid of the bars.

"Fleur went into labor," Charlie explained as he followed the raven haired teen.

Harry made it back to his bed and gingerly sat down before pulling himself backwards towards the pillows with his arms. He still didn't have the leg muscles to pull them up, so he braced himself and grabbed his pant legs to heave them onto the bed one at a time. Harry was completely exhausted after all this and lent back into the pillows and closed his eyes.

"That's nice," the emerald eyed teen said. "I bet Molly's over the moon; first grandchild and all."

The three redheads conjured chairs and sat around Harry's bed, "She's gone barmy," George laughed.

Harry's lips twitched in his approximation of a smile nowadays. "How is everyone?"

"Well, Ron's in auror training; he was really disappointed when you decided not to join. Bill and Fleur are still in Shell Cottage, and Bill has decided to make the transfer to the Diagon Alley Gringotts permanent. George and I are opening another branch of WWW in Hogsmeade, we bought out Zonko's. And Charlie here," Fred continued slapping Charlie on the back, "has decided to move home as well. He's going to be head of a new dragon reserve in Scotland."

Harry nodded, "and Ginny is back in school I assume?"

Fred and George exchanged glances, "Yes," George said slowly. "I think she's a might upset at you though mate."

"What," Harry asked shocked, "What did I do?"

"Never mind that now," Charlie interrupted. "What happened Harry?"

The teen in the bed looked away, "I had an accident."

"What kind of accident," Fred pushed.

Harry flushed embarrassed, "Nothing that concerns you," he snapped. "Sorry…" Harry whispered right away feeling bad about yelling at the red heads..

"It's alright mate," Fred said concernedly.

Before the four could get to talking again, Harry's mind-healer walked in.

"Oh," Tabitha exclaimed stopping short, "You aren't the usual three."

"Nope," George said hoping to his feet and bowing low, "George Weasley at your service miss, and this is Fred and Charlie."

Tabitha giggled a little at the red head's antics, "Pleased to meet you," she replied. "Unfortunately I'm going to have to ask you to leave, Harry and I have a few things to discuss."

"Certainly miss, "Charlie said standing up.

"Fair thee well my fair maiden," Fred said bowing dramatically before Charlie could sweep him out the door.

"We'll be back to visit again Harry," Charlie smiled softly at the raven.

Harry nodded briefly before turning back to the window.

"Good afternoon Harry," Tabitha greeted the teen once they were alone. "I'm thrilled to see you had visitors other than your godfathers. Those twins are funny," she smiled.

"Yeah," Harry agreed. "Fred and George Weasley, they own the WWW joke shop in Diagon Alley."

"Really," Tabitha exclaimed, "that's my little brother's favorite shop!"

Harry nodded.

"Are they close to you?"

"Ron, Fred, and George are like my brothers. We went to school together."

Tabitha smiled, "Why is this the first time they came to see you, didn't they know you were here?"

"No," Harry said. "I didn't want anybody to know. I don't want anyone to see me like this," tears gathered in his eyes and dripped down his cheeks.

"Harry," Tabitha said getting up to hand the young man a tissue, "None of this is your fault."

"It is," Harry yelled, "It is my fault. For Merlin's sake, I'm of age, I have a wand and I still let him…"

Tabitha watched as the emerald eye boy finally started coming to terms with what had happened. "You're still a teenager Harry," Tabitha gently explained. "You may have been of age, but that doesn't mean anything. A trusted adult that you looked up to told you to go back, right?"

Harry nodded miserably.

"So this trusted individual, is he someone you looked up to?"

"I always thought of him as my grandfather I guess. Siri and Remy couldn't be around that much, they wrote all the time, and Professor Dumbledore would call me up to his office just to have tea. I had to go back to my relatives before because of the blood wards. They protected me."

"Did you tell Professor Dumbledore what was happening?"

"Yes," Harry whispered. "He told me just to hang on, that keeping me safe from death eaters was more important. I needed to stay alive for the greater good."

"Did every explanation end with, 'for the greater good'?" Tabitha asked curiously.

"Yes because it was. He was right; I needed the protection of the blood wards. I couldn't have defeated Voldemort if I had been killed simply because I wanted to stay somewhere else." Harry replied defensively.

"I have another question for you Harry, and then we will stop for the day. Is there any reason you can think of that would have prevented Professor Dumbledore from stopping your relatives?"

Harry blinked, and wiped the tears from his face, "I don't know."

Tabitha nodded, "I think you do Harry. I want you to think about it for me and we'll talk about it again tomorrow. Now I think I hear your godfathers coming down the hall, so I'll just slip out. Have good day Harry."

Sure enough not two minutes after Healer Rheil left, two marauders and a potions master wandered in.

* * *

This Chapter Written By: Lovefremione


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